Band Bio.

Mary Water, Pat Maley, and Michael Bradley first met at a test-tube baby reunion but after a spirited debate about the sustainability of goat rodeos, they parted ways on tense terms.

As fate would have it, they met again during a failed audition for season 2 of Jersey Shore. They reconciled in the warmth of the New Jersey sun and began playing music together when they returned to Olympia, Washington.

They “pay” for their exorbitant acting lessons (in hopes of one day making it onto their favorite reality show) with their day jobs as a middle school teacher, therapeutic grocer, and computer programmer.

However, twice a week, after sunset, Mary and Michael sneak into Pat’s garage and play music as loudly as possible in an attempt to lure Pat out from his home laboratory where he recently discovered a new element after spilling nail polish onto cello bow rosin. The music calms them down and as long as they avoid topics involving goats or rodeos, they appear to get along fairly well.

Last month, upon discovering that they were the first embryos to survive a trial of underfeeding test tube babies, the trio decided to disavow their allegiance to Jersey Shore. They currently deploy a harmonic resonance designed to dismantle the capitalist machine and they plan to record their first Christmas album in 2020, entirely backward.